Transformation: The process of becoming something new.
The most widely known transformation is that of the butterfly.
It remains a mystery to me on how a caterpillar, a long, squiggly, multi legged blob, can turn into a flying work of art! I mean, I know part of it. The mature butterfly lays its eggs on the leaf of a plant. The eggs then hatch into the larva (also known at the caterpillar), then the caterpillar eats through four strawberries on Thursday (among other things), becomes big and fat, attaches its self to a branch (or sometimes your deck), wraps up into a chrysalis, and then melts itself down into a pupa, which somehow turns into a beautiful butterfly!
Did you catch that? THEY MELT DOWN. More accurately they digest their old body to break it down to just the building blocks, these building blocks then build something new - the butterfly!
So at one point - all that exists of the caterpillar/butterfly is GOO. I can't even imagine turning myself into a pile of goo in order to ultimately fulfill my life's journey. And essentially I have been turning all of my thoughts, beliefs, and stories into just that - gooey building blocks upon which I build NEW thoughts, beliefs and stories. Which is all fine and dandy, but I imagine you are reading this because you want to know the HOW (I love the how!).
So, here are the Three C's to transforming yourself self into your BEST self:
Creativity. It sounds easy but it can often be one of the more difficult portions of transformation - it was (and is) for me anyways, and maybe that has more to do with my neurodiversity than I would like to admit. I really needed someone to help me understand what it meant to be creative, and what it would look like. The most fascinating thing I learned about creativity is that it looks completely different for each and everyone one of us - what works well for one person (or even a hundred) does not automatically mean that it will work for everyone, or even in every situation.
For instance, I attended a workshop a few weeks ago on how to create a group course. The instructor (a fabulous individual named Terry Chase who wrote this fabulous book: Spoke By Spoke ) put me in the drivers seat of my own creation. I was doubtful...particularly when Terry started talking about mind mapping. My first thought was Ugh, I HATE mind mapping. I don't work like this. But I liked Terry's energy so I gave it a try - after all what was the worst thing that could happen? I would be wrong? Fantastic!
With a few thoughtful prompts, I dove into my mind map and low and behold ideas just started POURING out of my mind - I was being creative and it was working! Within the space of 45 minutes I had an entire, workable program outline that if I was asked to lead right then and there, I would be able to do it. Magic.
Creativity sounds easy, can sometimes be hard, and boils down to the willingness to try new things.
What is one thing you can try today? How can you connect with your creativity right now? Is it moving, drawing, making noise? Putting post it notes all over the pace?
It can be ANYTHING! Go Wild.
Curiosity. There is something magic about diving into something with deep curiosity - there are so many things that you can find: clarity, insights, pain, joy, ease. I haven't always been good at being curious - I liked being RIGHT. For clarity's sake, correctness does NOT lends its self well to transformation - that is more about staying put.
When you open yourself up to the possibility of being truly curious, you open up to being WRONG. Like REALLY wrong, and then learning from it and expanding into new uncharted territory.
Before curiosity I thought I knew what I needed, and what other people needed, and what I needed to do in order to give other people what they needed. You can imagine how that went...disappointing for all involved. This is where I used to operate when I would engage in a "heated conversation" with my spouse. I just knew what he was thinking and I was going to tell him how wrong he was and how right I am.
With curiosity I can stay in my feelings and needs while ALSO being curious about HIS! It is the ultimate win-win situation and has saved our relationship on more than one occasion.
Curiosity takes you out of your knowing and places you into your growing.
Connection. Ah, connection - another ambiguous word that sounds easy to put into action to access our full transformation, but alas, this one can be sticky too. How? you might be thinking...well for some stepping into a trusting relationship with another human can scare the living shit out of them and for others that might sound like bliss! Vulnerability is one of those things that can be easy, but in its truest forms can also give you LOTS of information that you weren't quite ready for.
That is what the connection stands for: vulnerability. With others AND with yourself. Really tuning into what you want and what you need. Being able to clarify the difference between the two and knowing which one to access first. When we connect with ourselves deeply we access a whole new realm of knowing - otherwise known as Intuition (which is different then knowing facts). When we connect with others, deeply, vulnerably, they call us out of our comfort and into the fear, shame, and lies that we have been holding ourselves to. They put the spotlight on the baggage we are carrying that are keeping us from truly transforming our being.
So there you have it: Creativity, Curiosity, and Connection. The three things you need to break everything down into goo and completely transform who you are and how you interact in your world.
Coaching is the chrysalis - the protective environment where you can break it all down - lay out all your thoughts, beliefs, stories to just the bare bottom building blocks. Without the safety of the chrysalis, the butterfly might not make it - it might, I don't have any scientific data on that, but I can imagine that the population would be negatively affected!
People, humans, you and me, walking around in our meat suits, are capable of full and utter transformation. Many of us try to go it alone. I was one of those people for a very long time. Coaching transformed me. Coaching continues to transform me.
What do you want to be and are you ready for transformation?