I’ve spent a lot of time this year working: on me, with my clients, in my relationship with my children, my husband, and my friends and family.
Much of this work has been in self evaluation and study with books, blogs, and social groups of like minded people (mostly other coaches).
All of it has been impactful, and none more so than the work of Devon Bandison. He is a miracle maker - he has risen from his own ashes and flies high as a grand Phoenix - showing us all how to show up in a different way.
The first time I met Devon I was nervous - I do that when I have a specific questions/issues that I want to talk about with someone that has experience doing what it is that I wish to do. You see Devon works with athletes. Not just athletes - ELITE, PROFESSIONAL Athletes - NBA players and hopefuls. He is thoughtfully referred to as “The Go To Mindset Coach of the NBA” TGTMCOTNBA - and that is because he is.
So here I am, “little ‘ol me,” hoping to work with a group of teen gymnasts and I am, well, me. Not particularly athletic, or flexible, or talented in a gym…I was in doubt and I was afraid that when I exposed my doubt and fear to Devon he would tell me: “You’re right, you are not the right person for the job - you need to know what it’s like to be a true athlete to know how to work with them on their personal growth.”
You want to know what he said?
“So what? Do you know how to shift your own mindset when things get hard?”
YES. Yes I do.
His unfaltering belief in me - even though he had JUST met me for the very first time - shifted something inside me. I started to believe just a little more. I leaned into the things that I don’t know and filled them with light from the things that I DO know.
I know hardship. I know difficulty with self esteem during my own youth (hell, to this day!). I know what it feels like to want something SO FUCKING bad you can taste it and it falls flat.
SPLATing all over your life, your dreams, your ambitions.
I also know how to move forward from that. To GROW from that. To rise from my own ashes, wings spread around me in a fiery blaze of bright orange, reds, and blues. To fly high above everything that was burned to the ground.
Sometimes things have to burn to be born.
Devon immediately became someone that I wanted to study - to understand how he got to where he is.
I bought his book, actually read it and signed up for my very first IN PERSON professional conference (he calls it an experience): The Game Changer.
That was in May of 2021 and the conference wasn’t until October of 2021.
What happened over the next 5 months is nothing short of a miracle - that I CREATED: birthed from the death of my self doubt.
I read more books on self development and coaching than I ever have in the entirety of my life. I dove more deeply into my therapy and evaluating my relationships with my loved ones and how I was showing up in them. I signed up and attended, what actually became my first in person group experience - “Herd Spirit: Living Your Gift” in July with two amazing coaches, Gita and Ezra, that use horses to support your learning (it was during this experience that I was lovingly labeled as “The Ocean” which I proudly wear). I hired Gita to be my coach in August. I dedicated the next six months of my life with her: my goal was to learn how to be my authentic self. I joked during our first session that I didn’t know if I was going to be able to learn how to speak Mandarin in SIX months. It seamed to BIG - to VAST - a goal. (Spoiler alert - I learned how to “speak mandarin”). I experienced an amazing session with Melissa Ford - who told me that I was “a force” - and I heard her. I owned it. I stepped into that force. In September I traveled across the country from CA to PA to meet my best friend for the very first time in person. I experienced such immense love, joy, and sorrow that my spirit split wide open.
And on Sept 29th, as I waited outside my hotel for my dear friend to spend a night with me in Santa Monica, there he was: Devon Bandison. The Great.
I waved and smiled - not wanting to interrupt his evening with his amazing, beautiful, and talented love - Jess. I could see the confusion on his face and he whispered something to Jess. I called out to him “It’s ok - you’ll meet me tomorrow” (we had been talking on Facebook and I wasn’t that surprised that he didn’t recognize me). He instantly stopped. Straightened his body and presented me with the biggest smile I have ever seen “Oh! Hi Jenn!” Then he trotted over and gave me a huge hug (with the railing awkwardly between us lol). Jess walked over to him with a smile on her face. Devon asked me how I was doing and then introduced me to “the love of [his] life, Jess.” It was in that moment that I knew this was going to be good. I wished them a good evening and continued waiting for my friend as they jovially walked towards the coast line in search of dinner.
The next day would mark the start of a whole new me. The Game Changer. September 30th 2021.
Devon shared a lot with our group over the next three days, and here are the things that had the biggest affect on me:
Stop running my racket - it’s costing me my life.
What other people think about me is none of my business.
Create your future from your future.
Decide who you want to be and BE that.
This is where The Document comes in.
Devon read us his own document - well, read is not quite it - he STATED his document. It was a testimony to his created way of being, living, and loving. I had witnessed his being - from the first moment I met him on Zoom in May, reinforced by our brief meeting on Sept 29th, and materialized over three days of being with his Being.
He taught me about the importance of practice - not just intention.
It is now November 28th, 2021 - two months later and I am created. I have a way of being that I practice daily. I screw it up daily, and I keep going. That’s the point.
So here it is: My Created Way of being - well, the first part of it (it will continue to grow with me):
I am a warrior, a healer, a body of love.
I am love.
I am the ocean: deep, vast, and unpredictable.
I am acceptance.
I am wise and still.
I am more than enough - I am everything.
I am one with the light of creation.
I am light.
I am a goddess on high.
I inspire greatness in others.
I am a stand for those without a voice.
I am unwavering persistence in the battle for equality and justice.
I am categorically misunderstood and what other people think of me is none of my business!
As long as there is breath in my body I am that divine service shall be gifted freely.
I am a lover, mother, sister, and friend.
I hear the unspoken wishes of others and myself, and I breathe life into them with ease and grace.
I embrace prosperity and money flows to me with ease.
I choose how I interact with all things that happen around me. I own my behaviors, thoughts, and emotions.
I own everything about me.
I am that forgiveness is always gifted freely and mostly to myself.
I am the best wife ever to Steven C Butler and I fully accept him as he is.
I am the most loving mother to Freya Naomi Lynn and Kaia Aleece.
I am power.
And my mother named me Jennifer Louise
What will your document say about you? How will you create your Being?